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Chris, you greasy bastard.

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30th Jun, 2009 | 01:05 pm

I'm going to make a post about Master Chef Australia. Its a reality TV show and I've been watching it almost every day so even though I feel lame writing about it, I also don't.

Mainly my issue is with Chris (that picture makes him look good). He makes food that makes me want to sing songs of praise. For example, last night he cooked a 3 course meal consisting of:

  • Duck and black pudding stuffed into a duck's neck
  • Half a pigs head, marinated and baked to crispy
  • Beeramisu, which is like tiramisu, using chocolate stout instead of coffee

After this, I decided that I would be happy to fly interstate just to eat at any restaurant he was running. His idea for a restaurant is exactly where I want to be. The problem is that having watched the show has given me an insight into his personality. He's a grumpy, know-it-all who loves to tell everyone how it is and looks down on most of his competitors. He is also greasy, bloated and mono-browed with a bulbous wino nose and wears a hat all the time. Now I would call myself greasy and bloated and I also like to wear a hat, but my nose is in pretty good shape and I have two very distinct eyebrows. Also there is certain hat etiquette which hat-wearers should follow. For example, when you go to meet some of Sydney's top chefs and you have a meal with them, you should take your god damned hat off. Especially if its a wobbly-brimmed straw hat, stained dark from your greasy hair.

I guess that what annoys me most about him is that one of my good friends refers to him as "Dan" which makes me want to scrub myself with bleach in a bath full of drain cleaner.

In looking for links for this post, I stumbled across an Australian Muslims forum where they were discussing the show. Many of them agreed that Chris's food looked well made, despite the fact that a pigs head on a plate horrified them. One user commented that throughout the show they often drink alcohol and so isn't watching the show the same thing as associating with people who drink alcohol. I just had to wonder what kind of dreary world-view makes you think such things.

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Comments {12}

ang

stuff is said

from: bastardang
date: 30th Jun, 2009 05:46 am (UTC)
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wow, i just find the concept that you are 'associating' with the people on t.v. by watching it really bizarre.

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cmariewt

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from: cmariewt
date: 30th Jun, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC)
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This is pretty much what I was thinking also. If that's the case, I have famous friends everywhere.

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Mira

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from: melancholywhore
date: 30th Jun, 2009 12:00 pm (UTC)
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I cant possibly see how you look like Chris at all.

im sad I missed the duck and black pudding stuffed into a duck

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Gravy Dan

stuff is said

from: danox
date: 1st Jul, 2009 12:12 am (UTC)
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it was pretty insane. I suppose that's what you get for not watching television every night.

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B-36

stuff is said

from: b36
date: 30th Jun, 2009 01:33 pm (UTC)
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I don't watch TV at home - but most Sunday nights I have dinner at Genghis Khan Mongolian BBQ, and they have a large TV playing above the BBQ area. Thanks to that, I discovered Master Chef Australia, and over the past few weeks I've become a fan (or at least a Sunday-night fan).

Like many other viewers, I enjoy MCA because in general the contestants are a likable bunch of regular folks pursuing a dream, the judges provide firm but constructive criticism, and the overall atmosphere is creative and encouraging.

I don't mind Chris, but his ragged long hair, slobby unshavenness and (most of all) wearing his hat indoors annoy me as well.

One user commented that throughout the show they often drink alcohol and so isn't watching the show the same thing as associating with people who drink alcohol.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Like you said, there are some dreary world-views out there.

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Gravy Dan

stuff is said

from: danox
date: 1st Jul, 2009 12:13 am (UTC)
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yeah, its a nice show. the judges are nice and the contestants are mostly nice. its more about cooking good food than personal drama.

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cmariewt

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from: cmariewt
date: 30th Jun, 2009 08:59 pm (UTC)
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Oh good god, that is an unfortunate looking man.

I feel the same way about a contestant on The Next Food Network Star show. Love what she creates but her personality and character leave much to be desired.

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Gravy Dan

stuff is said

from: danox
date: 1st Jul, 2009 12:13 am (UTC)
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I guess it doesn't really matter what a chef is like as a person as long as their food is delicious.

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Maria

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from: pathetical
date: 1st Jul, 2009 06:43 pm (UTC)
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I'm guessing from the website it's based on the same format as the UK version of the show (same logo, anyway). I'm hopelessly addicted to the version over here, which has been running in that format for a few years now. Unfortunately at the moment here the 'celebrity' version is running, which is like a slightly more vacuous, less tasty version of the show. The 'celebs' still seem to take it seriously but the standard isn't nearly as high. The power of satan compels me to watch it nonetheless. I'd be interested to see the australian version.

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Gravy Dan

stuff is said

from: danox
date: 5th Jul, 2009 11:45 pm (UTC)
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I haven't seen the UK version, but I've heard of it. Don't know how they compare, but two of our three judges are originally from england so maybe its, like, exactly the same.

I think a lot of reality tv shows start off pretty good and then get worse with time. the celebrity version is often the point where the downhill fall begins.

I used to like the biggest loser because it had a positive message and was encouraging people to change their lives and improve their health. Now it seems to be about fat people trying to lose weight while the producers try to stop them.

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bring me the rest of alfredo garcia

stuff is said

from: sunnytea
date: 2nd Jul, 2009 09:28 am (UTC)
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wow. we only started calling him 'dan' because his beer restaurant fetish reminded us of you and not his bloatedness...also we don't even call him 'dan' anymore because despite his hat wearing beer making food persona - he is nothing like you! so don't dwell on it like a girl...you are nowhere as greeeeesy as him.
having said that i do hope you open a kick-arse beer restaurant. do it!

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Gravy Dan

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from: danox
date: 5th Jul, 2009 11:42 pm (UTC)
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but I am like a girl!

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